As soon as you read this sentence I want you to go outside and scoop up a handful of stones.  Now put them in your pocket.  Have you done that?  Good.  Now carry them in your pocket for the rest of your life.  If that request sounds strange then you will be ready for my explanation.

Grief, just like a pocketful of stones, can be a burden that we carry with us.  In the case of grief, however, we don’t go looking for it, it comes to us when we experience a loss ~ a death, the end of a relationship, even a change in our employment.

Grief is a natural response to loss.  There is nothing wrong or unnatural with grief.  What can make grief unhealthy is carrying it around without acknowledging it so that it becomes a daily burden ~ like a pocketful of stones.  

To deal with grief in healthy ways we need to learn how to lift the burden, perhaps one stone at a time.  One of the ways we can do this is by acknowledging grief.  In The Grief Recovery Handbook John James and Russell Friedman asks this question, “If you fell down and gashed your leg and blood was pouring out, would you immediately seek medical attention?”  Most of us would answer yes.  They follow with another question, immediately, “If circumstances and events conspired to break your heart, would you seek attention immediately, or would you allow yourself to bleed to death emotionally?”  Given the number of people burdened with grief, the answer to this question may be obvious also.  

This short article is not meant to, nor can it answer all the questions about grief, but hopefully it will serve as a reminder that there are ways to lift the weight of grief.

According to the website Helpguide.org, “the single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people.  Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it is important to talk about them when you’re grieving.  Knowing that others know and understand your grieving will make you feel better, less alone with your pain, and will help you heal.”  

Often that support comes from family and friends but one’s faith community is also an important support in times of grief.  Nason Hospital builds on the support of family, friends, and faith by offering a yearly service of remembrance.  This service, led by local pastors, will be held this year on May 18 at Christ Church at 2 p.m.  

Perhaps one of the reasons we often carry around a weight of grief is the perception that to stop grieving is to stop remembering.  This is not true.  In fact, healthy grief promotes remembering and can lead us to our new reality, or, as someone has said, a “new normal.”  

If grief has become a burden, there is help available.  Find a support group.  Get involved in a community project, maybe even in memory of your loved one.  Talk honestly with a friend or pastor.  Grief can be lessened one stone at a time.